Monday, November 30, 2009

Bad Apples? Make Butter


I recently bought a 2 lb. bag of granny smith apples from Trader Joe's for $2.99. This seemed like a steal, until I got them home and realized they were riddled with bruises. Rather than toss the bad seeds, my mission became clear—I had to get my booty into baking gear.

Now, maybe it's just me, but I feel like apple pie is the baking equivalent of a technical writing manual: boring, stagnant, and dry as a well-done burger. There's nothing alive about an apple pie. It's pretty difficult to mess one up, and while you can pony around with a lattice or some cheddar cheese, the formula is pretty set. Don't get me wrong, they're a damn tasty American past-time. But they leave very little room for experimentation.*

I considered crisps, crumbles, and a tarte tatin, but those things are just apple pie that's thrown on a suit jacket to go out for an evening on the town. A pie sprinkled with oatmeal or tossed upside down is still a pie, guys. So what to do? How obvious. Apple butter.

But because I can never just keep my creativity in check for two seconds to test out classic recipes, I had to substitute balsamic vinegar and bourbon for the apple cider most recipes called for. Why use apple cider in something that's already going to taste like apples? That's just asking to be tweaked. And tweak, I did, with surprisingly professional-looking results, and a house that will smell like cinnamon apples and booze for days. That's a recipe for holiday cheer if I ever smelled one.

Balsamic Bourbon Apple Butter

Ingredients
Roughly 2 lbs. small granny smith apples
1/2 cup boiling water
Some generous splashes of balsamic and bourbon
A couple tablespoons of brown sugar, if you like
Pumpkin pie spice
Ginger
Cinnamon
Allspice

Start by chopping up your apples into small cubes, maybe 1/2 inch in size. Leave the skin and as much of the core as you can while still discarding seeds and stems--the pectin is stored in the skin and the core, and that's crucial for keeping this from turning to liquidy mush. Put the cubes in a pot of water—mine was already boiling from tea I had just made, but you can just heat it all up together, too, I assume. Splash some bourbon and balsamic on top, but not enough to submerge the apples entirely in liquid. Once it's all boiling together, lower the heat a smidge but maintain a low boil for about 20 minutes, until there are no apple chunks that you can't crush with a fork and the liquid is almost entirely dissolved.

Add the spices, some sugar if you think it needs it (do a taste test first), and a little more of the booze and vinegar if you like. Once it's thickened up and there's no liquid left, remove from the heat and cool for a few minutes before putting in a blender. At this stage, you're welcome to stop and leave it. The chunks are just apple skins, which impart a strange texture by themselves but are totally fine to leave. If you want it smoother, just puree in the blender until silky. It's pretty stellar warm, if you want to go ahead and use some right away for toast or oats. Otherwise, store in the fridge or freezer. I've heard this stuff adds a really interesting flavor and texture to vegan baked goods, and web rumors have also come by way about plopping a few spoonfuls into the filling of pumpkin (or even apple) pie. Experiment away!

*I have, since writing this, dreamt up a million new tricks to try with apple pie, maybe to prove to myself that no food is boring if you've got the moxy to change it. From bacon lattices to curry powder to whatever the heck that kid in the American Pie movies did, I realize now how close-minded of me it is to think apple pie leaves no room for exploration.

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